Thoughts on Adulting + How I’m Failing At It

I’m going to warn you from now, this is going to be a chatty post.

2017 has been such a weird year for me, mostly because it’s a year full of changes. I ended 2016 graduating college and started the new year with absolutely no clue on what the year has in store for me. It’s already April and I’m still unsure where I’m going to end up by the end of the year. These past few months have been filled with me working, looking for a better-paying job (which feels like a job itself), applying to grad school/scholarships, and beating myself up for not being better at everything.

Here’s the thing, I have no idea what I’m doing. All I know is there’s somewhere I want to be and getting from here to there requires money, which requires time, which can be difficult to come by. Time is such a tricky thing. I have more of it since I don’t have classes or homework anymore, but now it’s harder to manage. I thought that once I graduated I would find a decent paying, full-time job to save up for grad school and any extra time I’d have would be spent reading and blogging. My mom warned me that it wouldn’t be so easy and she was right, so now I’m here, literally re-evaluating all my past decisions and analyzing my future ones.

There hasn’t been a day that’s gone by since I learned of my acceptance to my top choice grad program, where I’ve internally battled on whether or not I should go. Everything in me screams that I should go, that I could make it work…somehow. Do I jump? Or do I wait and see if the opportunity will present itself at a better time? Honestly I’m so conflicted, only time will tell.

Being a young adult is honestly the weirdest thing because some of your peers are already great at it and some aren’t. I’m excited (and scared) to see where my 20s will take me and hope that, in the end, everything will work out and I’ll be happy.

NaNoWriMo Day 5 + Tips for College WriMos!


Day 5; 26 days remaining

Total word count: 8989

Today’s goal: 10k?!

Hello my fellow NaNo-ers and welcome to another update post! Yesterday was a pretty hectic day and since I wanted to hit my word count I didn’t do my update post, so I’ll discuss my progress for both yesterday and today now (: Also, towards the end of this post I’ll be discussing my experience on NaNo so far as a college student so stay tuned for that!

Yesterday was a full day of classes (from 9am to 8 pm) and although I had breaks, it was difficult to get my word count in since I kept running into people I knew. I wrote in my ‘dream notebook’ (a story for another day :P) whenever I had an idea for a scene during my classes and when my three hour break came up I transferred the scene onto Scrivener and continued with my writing. I was about to do my first #1k30min sprint when one of my sister’s friends came and sat with me, so I had to skip it :/ On the bright side my 6-8 class was released an hour early so I was able to sprint for 25 min with some two lovely (and Australian!!) ladies, which was really fun- I love word sprints. When I finally got home I finished up my writing and ended the day with 1,937 words bringing my total word count to 7,036 (:

Today I only have one class at 12:30, but since I want to practice driving (don’t judge) I woke up early and drove to the train station and got to school around 7:40. I went on the interwebs until 8 and then participated in a few word sprints and- here’s the exciting part, participated in my first #1k30min sprint! I ended up only getting 816 words instead of 1,000 but I’m still proud of myself. My story is really coming along and I’m still in the honeymoon phase ❤ I did one more sprint after that and around 9:30 I decided to break from my story to do an update post and to do some homework.

The best part of all the sprints is that I already completed today’s word count! I wrote 1,953 words bringing my total word count to 8989 (as you probably saw at the beginning of this post). I am going to another write-in today and I still have time before my class so I’m hoping to reach 10k words today; if I do I’ll be so happy because a) that’s a huge milestone and b) papers and tests are coming up so I’m going to need as much of a head start as possible.

Okay so I wanted discuss how NaNoWriMo has effected me as a college student because frankly, I don’t see too many people discussing this and a few weeks ago I thought it was impossible. Please note that this is my first real try at NaNoWriMo and that I’m an English/nursing major so my experiences will not be identical to yours or any other student. I am in no way an expert, I just want to record my experience so far and share what’s been helping me.

November is crunch time in the world of college, the semester is coming to an end, teachers are assigning final projects and papers, students begin to study for finals, and the pressure is HIGH. Throw in the fact that you want to write a 50k book and the month seems even more unbearable. When I was debating whether or not to join NaNo I looked online for help and to be honest I was not happy with what I saw. The top two answers I saw were:

♦ Yes, but expect your grades to drop

♦ You can try, but you’ll most likely ‘lose’

I found these answers ridiculous because I know that there is a way to do it without your grades suffering, so I decided that from now on I will update how much time I spend writing for NaNo as well as studying and doing homework. I think it’s important that students don’t get discourage before they try something, so hopefully my updates will encourage them.

Since it’s only day 5, there isn’t much that I could report but I think it’s important to note that NaNo has actually improved how I organize my time. Before NaNo, I would wait to do my homework until the day before and I would waste countless hours a week watching The Walking Dead (however I don’t really regret that) at the train station or between classes. Since November started, I haven’t watched a complete episode of TWD and I’ve been doing my homework ahead of time. Just yesterday I used the time before my first class to start to do a discussion post for class and my lab reports so I could use my two hour break to write.

For the remainder of November I have three exams, one presentation, two 5+ page papers, and a final. Not including an 8+ page paper that is due early in December and the finals that take place the first two weeks of December. I also want to blog at least 4 times a week and continue to read. I’ll be honest, I’m overwhelmed and scared but I’m going to give it my all, even if I have to have some late nights and early mornings. But I have a plan of how I’m going to balance everything and we’ll find out soon if it works. As of now I have A’s and B’s in all of my classes and I know that if I work my butt off I can get all A’s- which is the goal. Even though it’s only been 5 days, I haven’t been falling behind and I think the reason is because I set a time to do my writing.

Write-ins are a HUGE help because I am in a different environment so all I focus on is writing, but if you can’t go to one I recommend getting out of your house/favorite spot and sit somewhere that you can focus on writing. I also recommend writing sprints which is when you write as much as you can in a certain amount of time, those are really fun to do and you’ll be surprised how much you’ll get done after an hour of sprints! There is a twitter account dedicated to giving sprints all day so if you’re interested definitely give it a follow. What I do is turn on my twitter notifications for the account so when I’m writing I’ll get the notification on my phone when it’s time to start/stop a sprint without being on the app (:

I hope that this post was somewhat helpful! As always, let me know if you’re participating this year and how you’re doing so far.

Ana Talks: The Start of a Semester

As of Monday, August 18th, I have become an official college student. Gone are the days of worrying whether someone in my class is going to figure out that I’m a highschooler! It’s definitely a bitter sweet experience, especially since I was hoping to attend a different university, but I intend to make the best of it and enjoy every minute I have.

So far I’ve attended all of my classes except my microbiology lab (I’m actually typing this during my break before the lab!) and it seems that I’m going to have a smooth but busy semester. For those of you who don’t know, I’m currently working on my English degree while taking my nursing pre-requisites for the nursing program. I’m actually really excited for all of my English classes, I usually only read YA or NA so it’ll be interesting to expand into different genres from different times.

Since classes have started, I have fell WAY behind on scheduling posts. However I am hoping to take some time this weekend to schedule a week’s or so worth of posts. I also wanted to share an idea I had for my future posts: I want to discuss and maybe even review some of my required readings for school on this blog. That way I won’t fall back on my blogging and I’ll focus even more on my readings 😛

That’s all for now! Have you started classes? Have any tips on how to stay on top of everything without becoming a zombie? Please feel free to share below!

Ana Talks (Personal): College Heartbreak

Many people believe that heartbreak is an essential part of life, it helps you grow and mature. It’s suppose to teach you something about yourself and help you realize that you can overcome anything. I experienced my first heartbreak almost a month ago and, unlike the majority of the population, I did not experience it because of a boy. A university broke my heart.

I’ve mentioned this several times on my blog: School is, and will always be, my number one priority. I’ve worked pretty hard my entire life and my mom made sure that I was always being challenged. In middle school I was a part of a pre-med program. In high school I was a part of a special program that allowed me to take all college classes on a college campus for my sophomore, junior, and senior year. I graduated with over 95 college credits! I sacrificed pep rallies, football games, homecoming, and so much to go to this abnormal school. I didn’t have an average high school experience so can you imagine how desperate I am to have an average college experience? I was literally OVERJOYED when I discovered that I received a scholarship that covered half of my tuition for my top choice university in New Jersey. I cried tears of happiness when I realized that I will have the full experience- living in a dorm, having a roommate, being able to go out whenever, and living 10 miles away from NYC put the cherry on top! My parents paid the $550 nonrefundable deposit.

Then the bomb drops. I contacted the school because I did not receive an official checklist of what classes will and will not transfer. After weeks of back and forth emails and phone calls, I get an email stating that the school will not be accepting ANY of my science credits because their nursing program was ‘too intense’, I guess that was a nice way of saying that they didn’t think that those classes were up to their level. Just to put things into perspective- I took 9-10 science classes which is about a year’s worth of work. One entire year that they won’t accept, and that wasn’t even the official checklist! My whole world crumbled, I was not going to let all of my sacrifices in high school be thrown away like that so the only logical thing was to hope that another university will still let me attend.

This is where the heartbreak part kicked in- I cried for days, maybe even a week, I even cried myself to sleep. Almost everything was a constant reminder, the acceptance letters, my graduation pictures, the Facebook group I joined. I ended up deleting my Facebook app because I added so many people that were going to that college. I didn’t want to talk to any of my family or neighbors because they always asked when I was moving. My mom even told me that I looked heartbroken a couple of times.

Like I said, almost a month has passed so I’m better now. I decided to stay at the university I went to in high school since I can keep all of my credits. I even have a game plan: I will graduate with a degree in English by next summer and then I will *hopefully* be enrolled in their accelerated nursing program. If everything goes as planned I will have both an English and nursing degree in 2-3 years! Plus, with all the money I save I’ll be going on a month long trip to England afterwards.

I guess this post was to help me let go of any residual sadness I have and to let you guys know why I’ve been so absent lately. Until next time (:

College Applications and the SAT and Exams OH MY

Disclaimer: This post isn’t bookish, it’s about my life *flips hair*

Life is pretty hectic right now, academically speaking of course. Being a senior in high school entails a lot of extra work that I didn’t expect to be so time consuming. Honestly, I’m still in shock that this is my last year of school- I can’t believe that something that has consumed my life for the past 15 years is almost over. Yes, yes I do realize that I’m going to college/university and that’s basically the same thing, but it isn’t! It’s shocking that I’m so close to finishing, so shocking that I kind of block it out because growing up scares me. Blocking this information has resulted in procrastination, I have done zilch research on what colleges have the best opportunities for me. Every time I get an email from universities encouraging be to attend open houses or applying for early decision I will move it unopened to a different folder dedicated to all of these types of emails. It wasn’t until I received a pamphlet in the mail to a university in New Jersey did I start researching. Most early decision deadlines are November 1st, so I know I won’t be able to apply on time- however I need to start applying now.

I’ve never really had a dream college so that made researching colleges hard, I had no idea where to start. Asking my friends was no help because most of them were in the same boat as me. I made an appointment with my school’s academic adviser and all she said was to google colleges with majors I’m interested in. For those of you who don’t know I’m currently enrolled in my university for high school, I have 82 college credits (I just found out a few days ago). If you want to know more about my school read this post. Here’s the thing, I’m not 100% sure what I want to major in. Currently I’m pursuing nursing because my mom reasoned with me that it’s a diverse field that will always have a job opening. However I really want to study English or journalism because I want to be surrounded by books for the rest of my life. I can become a literary agent or a publicist until I write the novel I want to publish myself. My ultimate dream job is to become a full time author, but I’ll be fine working with authors and writing on the side. Nobody can prepare you for life, we always try to though. We tell kids that they can be whatever they want, we tell them to follow their dreams because dreams do come true. I wish with all my heart that everyone can live their dream, but it’s not realistic. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that you shouldn’t chase your dreams because you never know what life will grant you. No, what I’m saying is that sometimes you have to put your dreams to the side and think- Will this really benefit me? Taking the safe route seems tedious to me, why should I waste years of my life doing something I’m not in love with? But at the same time, what if my dream doesn’t work out? What if I try but I find myself financially unstable? My family isn’t rich, heck we’re barely getting by right now. I don’t want to live the rest of my life worrying if I will have enough money to pay the bills and buy groceries. As you can see I am very conflicted about this, which is another reason why I haven’t chosen any colleges to apply to- I don’t know what I’m looking for.

Well that was really heavy….you guys glimpsed some of what goes through my mind on a daily basis. Did I scare you away? If not let’s talk about the SAT and exams, fun right?  I, like many students in America, despise the SAT. I will be taking it for the second time on November 8th, the first time I scored a 1700. Although my score isn’t terrible (the average score is a 1300 I believe) I’m really disappointed with myself, which is why I’m retaking it. Studying for the SAT is the most annoying thing I’ve ever had to do. I don’t understand why we need to take it! How can a test determine whether we are ‘worthy’ of attending a college? Ugh, I can go on for hours about this but I’ll spare you the annoyance.

It’s almost November, which means that exams, projects, and papers are near. Oh and I can’t forget about the SAT on the 8th and the fact that I decided to participate in NaNoWriMo. What makes me really sad is that I finally got back in the swing of blogging, but now I might have to stop. I think I’m going to schedule a whole bunch of posts beforehand and just post those throughout November since I’ll barely have any time….sigh.

Okay this was a very rant-y post, promise next time’s will be bookish. Until then!